Wednesday, September 29, 2010

New In Town



This is a terrible movie. Renee Zellweger is not funny at all. However, this is one of those toasty fruity romantic comedies, so if you're looking for that kind of movie this will work. And if you're looking for something just to watch to kill time. Honestly, I am only reviewing this one because I couldn't think of a better one and I was in a hurry.

Here is a menu

Menu

Appetizer

Lefse

Main Course

Minnesota Hot Dish

Vegetarian Main Course

Potato and Sauerkraut Hot Dish

Sides

Carrot Pecan Wild Rice

Fresh Beet Salad

Dessert

Homemade Vanilla Pudding

Monday, September 27, 2010

Flower Petals



Where we live there is this man who carries around a huge bunch of roses to all the bars and hot night spots and he sells them to couples. Sometimes he drops petals along the sidewalks to create a romantic ambiance. It's so lovely to be walking downtown and find a trail of rose petals leading off to a restaurant or bar.

The tradition of a flower girl dropping petals down the aisle for a bride to walk over goes back as far as the Greek and Roman ages. Even in the depressing Middle Ages there were flower girls, or a traditional equivalent. The flower girl represents purity and the petals represent passion and fertility. So of course the romance of flower petals is often copied in other places, like on a bed or in a bath, etc. It's incredibly romantic and a great way to set up a sexy mood.

The best way to surprise your lovely with flower petals is to put them in the appropriate spot while she's out, leaving her a nice surprise to find when she gets home. And if you want to get really fancy, leave a plate of chocolates and a glass of champagne there for her to find as well.

Favorite spots to leave flower petals:

-Bed (remember that red rose petals will stain white sheets)

-Bath

-On the floor in a path to someplace like the bed or bath

-The hood of her car

-Dining table

-Hot tub or pool

-Gazebo

Or come up with your own, inventive places to leave petals. They are super fun and very romantic. But don't do them too often or they'll lose their appeal very fast.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Err, Random Saturday Post

Hello! I forgot to do a Saturday post. So, umm... "Love One Another". There you go, some inspirational words to live by.

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Affects of Alcohol on Sex


Alcohol° , originally uploaded by Marcopaci.



I think I've covered stuff before about alcohol and sex, however, since I got pretty drunk on an entire bottle of wine last week, I'm inspired to talk about it some more.

Let me break it down for you (this has been my experience, anyway):

Alcohol for men = bad sex
Alcohol for women = excellent sex

And keep in mind that different kinds of alcohol will have different affects on a person. For example, when I drink too much wine I get extremely friendly. Like, very friendly. As in I will get on Facebook and leave wall posts for people I haven't really talked to in years and tell them how much I like them. Wine is a friendly drink. When I drink tequila I get extremely giggly and cuddly. That is when I want to have all the sex. When I drink Vodka I get a bit more quietly drunk. Same with gin. I'm not really sure what the reason for that is. But it's a good thing to keep in mind if you guys want to have sex and drink at the same time. Margaritas are a great choice.

Sorry if this is a rehash of old stuff, but I've been a bit busy lately and distracted. If you want better content send me some suggestions.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mrs. Winterbourne



This crazy fun movie contains the wonderfulness of Ricki Lake, Shirley MacLaine, and Brendan Fraser all rolled up into a great film about a homeless un-wed pregnant girl who gets thrown into this family through a series of unexpected and weird events. I love this movie, though. Ricki Lake is awesome! Go watch!

Menu

Appetizer

Planked Figs with Pancetta and Goat Cheese

Main Course

Dinosaur Bones with Chipotle Cherry Barbecue Sauce

Vegetarian Main Course

Flatbread with Arugula, Asparagus, and Fried Eggs

Sides

Red Vinegar Pickles

Grilled Corn on the Cob

Dessert

Buttermilk Pudding Cake with Maple Raspberries

Monday, September 20, 2010

Some Girls Are Crap

Cat crapping in toilet, 1953
Photo from Aliceblueblazes


Sometimes a girl you think is cute and sweet and funny and nice is, in fact, only crap. It can sometimes be hard to figure out which girls are crap and which ones are quality, because the crap girls like to masquerade as quality.

How to differentiate crap from quality:

-Quality is there for you in your time of need. Crap isn't so much.

-Quality likes getting your calls and doing things with you. Crap makes excuses not to talk or hang out.

-Quality enjoys sharing things about her day or life with you. Crap can't be bothered with things like that.

You see, Crap is only interested in herself. The only reason she has anything to do with you is because you give her something she wants. Quality, however, is actually interested in a relationship, be it friends or otherwise. Your friends can probably give you some good perspective on which girls are Crap and which are Quality. If you suspect you may have a Crap in your life, ask your friends what they think.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

145


Sexy Red Lips, originally uploaded by sweetcrazyboy.



Those lips that Love's own hand did make,
Breathed forth the sound that said 'I hate',
To me that languished for her sake:
But when she saw my woeful state,
Straight in her heart did mercy come,
Chiding that tongue that ever sweet,
Was used in giving gentle doom:
And taught it thus anew to greet:
'I hate' she altered with an end,
That followed it as gentle day,
Doth follow night who like a fiend
From heaven to hell is flown away.
'I hate', from hate away she threw,
And saved my life saying 'not you'.

-William Shakespeare

Friday, September 17, 2010

Nipples!



Nipple orgasms, are they possible? Well I've never managed one, but I've read lots of accounts from girls who say they have had them. And a very good friend of mine said she managed to get there, but with a lot of hip movement going on. And I can say that I've gotten close to one, so I think they are possible.

If you're interested in trying to get your lady to orgasm with nipple play, try this:

-Have her sit in your lap facing you

-Suck her nipple into your mouth while massaging her other breast with the nipple in the palm of your hand

-After a few minutes of getting her warmed up, switch breasts and begin to roll her nipple very gently between your pointer finger and thumb while sucking her other nipple

-Use your other hand to grab her hip and guide her into moving back and forth in your lap

-Continue this process, getting more intense as she gets more into it

-Keep going at her direction

It may take more than one time of trying nipple stimulation before you get her to orgasm. However, it's a lot of fun working towards a goal!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Must Love Dogs



This completely adequate film stars Diane Lane and John Cusack (who I could do without, to tell you the truth). The movie is a typical rom-com, but frankly everything with Cusack is a bit over acted and annoying. Lane manages to salvage a bit of it, and the dogs help. I mean, who doesn't love dogs? It's a nice, fluffy film worth watching if you have nothing else going on.

Possible menu:

Menu

Appetizer

Corn Dog Bites

Main Course

Fried Chicken

Vegetarian Main Course

Southern Fried Vegetarian "Chicken"

Sides

Southern Potato Salad

Southern Green Beans

Dessert

Devil Dog Cake

Monday, September 13, 2010

A 9 Year Anniversary



My husband and I just celebrated our 9 year anniversary. We decided to start dating on 9.12.2001 after the WTC disaster because we realized we missed each other. So every year on 9.11 I feel a little sad, a little happy, but mostly very grateful. Grateful that I'm alive and living with the person I love and that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. And I really do think every day about how lucky/blessed I am to have him in my life.

So if there's someone out there that you care about, you should probably go out and tell them. Time goes fast and it's a shame to waste any of it.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

Why there is no post today...

Umm, well this is embarrassing, but... I started watching old episodes of Who's The Boss? on Hulu and forgot. Shameful, I know. I may have a problem. I may have to go into rehab. Ay-Oh, Oh-Ay!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

My Fake Fiance



You can go watch this movie on Hulu for free.

Two people meet, do not fall in love, and decide to get married. They need the money/stuff. The movie is pretty shallow, but kind of cute and sweet. And it stars Melissa Joan Hart of Clarissa Explains It All and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch fame and Joseph Lawrence of Blossom fame. A blast from the past! Did you know that those two are currently doing a new TV show? Melissa and Joey. You should check it out.

Menu

Appetizer

Mustard Ginger Shrimp Canapes

Main Course

Italian Wedding Soup

Vegetarian Main Course

Tomato and Goat Cheese Tart

Sides

Fingerling Potatoes with Herb Vinaigrette

Garlic Bread

Dessert

White Chocolate Almond Cake with Bourbon Buttercream Frosting

Monday, September 6, 2010

Happy Labor Day!



Got this image from here.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

25



Let those who are in favour with their stars,
Of public honour and proud titles boast,
Whilst I whom fortune of such triumph bars
Unlooked for joy in that I honour most;
Great princes' favourites their fair leaves spread,
But as the marigold at the sun's eye,
And in themselves their pride lies buried,
For at a frown they in their glory die.
The painful warrior famoused for fight,
After a thousand victories once foiled,
Is from the book of honour razed quite,
And all the rest forgot for which he toiled:
Then happy I that love and am beloved
Where I may not remove nor be removed.

-William Shakespeare

Friday, September 3, 2010

Another post about condoms



Condoms, such a varied and interesting topic. So many different kinds, sizes, and colors! How do you choose?

Well, my suggestion is to buy a bunch of different kinds and try them all out. I think that's the best way and most people agree with me. But here are a few things to keep in mind:

-Size matters. If you're big you may have a hard time with a regular sized condom. So make sure to get some different sizes to try out. Because it sucks to try to have sex in a condom that's too tight. (Hint: It won't work!)

-For her pleasure: She probably won't even notice.

-If you're allergic to latex: Don't even worry, the condom industry has you covered (haha, what a pun!)

Once you have the right condom picked out, remember to keep it in a cool, dark place. Bedside table is best. Never keep a condom you intend to use in your wallet.

Once you're in the middle of sexy stuff it can be awkward to stop to put a condom on. Be subtle in taking it out and then let her put it on you. That keeps it sexy.

And if the condom breaks or falls off in the middle, don't panic. Locate the condom if it fell off. If you can't find it, it may be in her. She'll need to remove it before you continue in your activities. If it broke and you ejaculated inside her, she may need to go get a morning after pill to help with pregnancy prevention.

Educate yourself about the various brands of condoms out there. Don't be too thrifty when it comes to your health. Pay a higher price for better protection.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

13 Going on 30



Ever see the movie Big? This is similar to that, but with a girl. And it stars Jennifer Garner, who is great. Basically 13 year old Jenna has a disastrous birthday party and then wishes to be an adult. Her wish is granted and it turns out she doesn't like the kind of person she's become as an adult, so she sets about changing things. Don't worry, it's super romantic and it all ends very happily. And it even has the Thriller dance in it!

Menu

Appetizer

Homemade Soft Pretzels

Main Course

Pizza Pizzas Recipe

Vegetarian Main Course

Pizza Pizzas Recipe but without the meat toppings, of course

Sides

Fried Zucchini

Dessert

Serious Vanilla Ice Cream