Sexting

Stop talking, go texting!, originally uploaded by crickee.

Feel weird about typing dirty messages out to your sweetie through text message? Well, according to a recent article in O Magazine, women are way more turned on by text aides than visual aides. And sure, the article is talking about erotic stories versus dirty movies, however sexting (texting of a sexual nature) isn't so very far removed.

If you want to turn up the heat by sending your sweetie some naughty messages, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Don't use netspeak. Typing 'U' for You or 'R' for Are is not sexy. It's just dumb. Please, for the love of God, use proper English.

2. Try typing a sexy, erotic poem out. Something steamy like an excerpt from Chinese Erotic Poems.

3. Women tend to respond well to fantasy. You'll notice that the porn most women want has a storyline. Imagination is a woman's strongest erogenous zone. So try typing out a story to her in text message. Then she only gets a little at a time. It'll drive her crazy! Can't make up a story yourself? Try something from Erotic Stories (NSFW).

4. Send her a dirty picture. Get a shot of yourself as you're getting out of the shower and send it to her later on in the day, when she's not expecting it. You know how happy you would be if she did that for you? Well, chances are good that she would be equally as pleased.

5. Stick to the old standby of telling her what you want to do to her in graphic detail. Be very blunt, yet very descriptive. If you do it right, she'll be waiting for you in bed when you get home.

If she's a bit uncertain about sexting, start slowly and build up to messages that are a bit more hardcore. I would start with a sexy poem and build from there. Once she's into it, it can be a great way to keep the sexual tension building throughout the day.

I really only advise sexting if you are in a committed, trusting, relationship. Sending nude pictures to someone you hardly know isn't considered wise. Likewise, sending naughty texts to someone you just met is probably a bad idea. You never want to run the risk that the person you are sending messages to is going to flip out and forward them to random strangers. Sext smartly!

Howl's Moving Castle

Romantic anime, what could be sweeter? Howl's Moving Castle is one of my most favorite movies of all time, and it very often winds up on IMDB's list of Top Rated Animation Titles. It was even nominated for an Oscar in 2006 for Best Animated Feature Film of the Year. So you see? It's good.

The gist is that Sophie (voiced by both Emily Mortimer and Jean Simmons) thinks of herself as being rather plain and unattractive. She spends her time working in a hat shop and rarely goes out with friends or family. One day she is walking through the city and soldiers begin to harass her. Suddenly a mysterious man takes her arm and escorts her away. Turns out he is the "wicked" wizard Howl (voiced by Christian Bale) who eats the hearts of young maidens. Or that's the rumor anyway. After Howl takes Sophie someplace safe, she is accosted by the evil Witch of the Waste (voiced by the incomparable Lauren Bacall) who turns her into an old woman. Then Sophie sets out to break the curse and again runs into Howl. The movie gets a lot more complicated and interesting at this point, but I would really hate to spoil any of it for you, because it's just too good. Suffice it to say, the ending is a happy one and the animation is breathtaking.

Now, for a romantic night of watching anime, I think you definitely need a fun, playful, and Japanese menu. Try this:

Cocktail

Apple Soju

Appetizer

Miso Soup
Spring Rolls with Soy Ginger Dipping Sauce

Main Course

Tuna Maki
Crab and Egg Maki with Tobiko
California Rolls

Vegetarian Main Course

California Roll Salad
Vegetarian Sushi

Sides

Spicy Glazed Eggplant
Pickled Vegetables

Dessert

Kabocha Squash Cake with Brown Sugar Cream

Basic Guidelines for Surprise Dates

Surprise dates can be great. Some of the best dates my husband and I have ever had were surprises. Once I surprised him after work with a cookout/picnic. The other day he surprised me with flowers and dinner. Surprise dates can be a great way of keeping your relationship fresh and fun. If you are interested in surprising you lovely with a fun outing, here are a few guidelines to keep in mind:

1. If you made plans for a surprise vacation or a fancy dinner, give her some advance notice so she can prepare. It's absolutely not pleasant to go to a fancy restaurant and feel inadequately dressed. It's worse to be whisked off on a romantic weekend away with no tooth brush. Give the proper notice! You don't have to explain where you are going or what you are doing, just let her know something is up and how she should dress for the event.

2. Speaking of warning her how she should dress, keep that doubly in mind for shoes. If you planned an evening of dancing or a lot of walking, let her know she might not want to wear those 4 inch heels. Blisters don't make a woman feel sexy.

3. Pay attention to her menstruation cycle and try not to plan any romantic beach trips for the week she's going to be on her period. You will probably not get to have hot beach sex (or any other sex, unless she's into that kind of thing) if you do not take my advice.

4. When planning a surprise date it is important to keep your lady's likes and dislikes in mind. If she hates trees why would you take her to an arboretum? Remember, this is a surprise date for her not you. Do what she likes to do.

Some fun surprise date suggestions:

1. Dinner at a nice restaurant, but not a very dressy place. Dressy places take more planning on her part. Follow dinner with a movie or a concert.

2. A romantic picnic at your local park.

3. A trip to a carnival.

4. A trip to a zoo.

5. Drinks after a poetry reading or art show opening.

A Quote by George Sand

Railroad Romance, originally uploaded by Brian Auer.

There is only one happiness in life -- to love and to be loved.
--George Sand

Girl Porn

For years it was thought that women were not fans of porn. Most times it was assumed that women thought porn was disgusting. And I am sure that some women still think that, especially the religious or the ultra-feminist who think it is degrading to women. However, more and more women are becoming open about their desire to watch porn. (Women want nookie as much as the next bloke: online poll) In fact, there is a movement in the industry to create "Porn for Women", movies that are storyline driven rather than close up shots of penetration or a woman with a face full of ejaculation. (Trust me, that is not even remotely sexy to most women. In fact, it's pretty gross.)

If you want to watch porn or erotica with your girl, you might give some of these movies/websites a try (and obviously most of these links are not safe for work):

Undressed: A show from MTV that ran from 1999 to 2002. No nudity, but sexy story lines. Could be a nice way to ease into watching naughtier things together. Of course she may just laugh at all the bad acting and high school drama, so you never know.

Sex in the City: A popular TV show about the sex lives of four hot New York women. A good first step if your lady is nervous about watching naughty movies with you.

Basic Instinct : An erotic thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone.

Red Shoe Diaries: Erotic Drama starring David Duchovny of X Files fame.

You Porn: It's like You Tube, but for porn. A very nice site. I go to this site more than any other porn site.

Porn for Women: A useful resource.

Erotica for Women: Another useful resource.

Zazel: The Scent of Love: A hardcore fantasy porn that is beautifully filmed. Supposedly nice for people who dislike regular porn, however there are quite a few negative reviews as well. You should decide for yourself on this one. (Has a facial scene.)

Pirates: A hardcore porn about pirates. You have sex, you have pirates, you have a storyline. How can you go wrong? (Has facial scenes.)

Candida Royalle: The first person to create porn for straight women. I have heard great things about these movies, so read about them and pick whichever sounds the most appealing to you and your lady.

Some of these suggestions are way more tame than others. You should research each one and determine what you think your lady would be most interested in. If she's a little intimidated by talking about sex or watching it, then start with something that will be easier for her to handle, like Sex in the City. If she's really into it, try browsing You Porn with her. Every woman is different, so be sure to ask her what she would like to watch and keep the conversation going. That's the only way to have a healthy sex life.

Sabrina

Sabrina is the brilliant coming of age tale of Sabrina Fairchild (Audrey Hepburn), born and raised on the rich Larrabee's Long Island estate. Her father is the chauffeur, Thomas Fairchild (John Williams). She spends her young life pining for the playboy younger son, David (William Holden), who never notices she exists. She is sent to Paris to learn the culinary arts and when she returns David, who is engaged to someone else, finally takes notice of her. Older brother Linus (the dreamy Humphrey Bogart. Yes, I did mean to type dreamy!) is unhappy at this new development, as it could cost him an important business deal. He tries his best to keep the two apart, then things begin to backfire. It's a beautiful, romantic comedy and will make your girl sigh with delight and wish she could get her hands on one of those Givenchy gowns that Hepburn wears.

(For fun, keep your eye out for two other famous actresses in bit parts. Marion Ross, of Happy Days fame, has a tiny part as "Spiller's Girlfriend" and Nancy Kulp, Jane Hathaway from The Beverly Hillbillies, plays a maid named Jenny.)

If you're going to watch this gorgeous movie, then you have to have elegant, French food. Here is my proposed menu to match the elegance of upper crust New York society:

Menu

Appetizer

Blue Cheese Gougeres

Main Course

Roasted Veal Chop with Morels

Vegetarian Main Course

Wild Mushroom Tart

Side

Mesclun Salad

Wild Rice with French Green Lentils

Dessert

Chocolate Soufflé

Lunch Surprise

Panda bento box, originally uploaded by luckysundae.

Have you ever heard of a Bento Box? If not, they are this super cute lunch box from Japan, traditionally stuffed full of rice, meat, and vegetables. And usually things are cut and molded to look like little anime animals or flowers. Really sweet! And so happy and fun!

Is there anything sweeter than being surprised during a hectic workday by your honey with a special lunch? I don't think so! How excited would your lady be if you showed up at her work at lunchtime with her very own little Bento Box full of yummy food that you made for her? Pretty damn excited, I am guessing.

Don't know where to get a Bento Box? Amazon has a great selection of incredibly cute boxes that most girls would adore.

Don't know how to cook stuff for a Bento Box? Try this cookbook! If you don't want to go to the trouble of cooking something, you could pick up her favorite takeout and transfer it to the box. Or just make her a PB&J sandwich, cut it into a fun shape, and put it in a cute box with some fruit and chips. She'll love it! And she'll love you for thinking of it!

A quote by Helen Keller

the romance of candlelight, originally uploaded by KarenMarleneLarsen.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
--Helen Keller

Green Sex Toys & Lingerie

Reduce : Reuse : Recycle, originally uploaded by fightinjoe.

Do you get off on saving the planet? Heh, heh. Well, now your job is that much easier, because with the environmental movement, there is a new market for environmentally friendly sex toys. I know, right?! So fun!

Now you can buy your girl her favorite sex toys without worrying about the impact on the planet. Does she go through a lot of batteries? Get something rechargeable or solar powered. More concerned about recycling and toxic chemicals getting into the atmosphere? Try a toy made from recycled rubber or a non-toxic, PVC-free dildo.

Does she have a favorite she doesn't want to give up? No problem. Some of the most popular sex toys (What does Rabbit mean to you? I know what it means to me!) have been turned green! Try the Rabbit Habit Elastomer or the Sola Vibe.

If your girl refuses to wear synthetic fabrics (as many women are doing these days), head over here and check out these dainty duds! A huge assortment of sexy, green lingerie from stylists such as Stella McCartney and Urban Fox. They're comfortable, sexy, kinky, fun, and environmentally friendly.

With these options you'll have more fun screwing your partner instead of the planet!

Much Ado About Nothing

One of William Shakespeare's most romantic comedies adapted for the screen and starring some of Hollywood's best actors will make your heart swell with pleasure.

Hero (Kate Beckinsale, don't worry she doesn't suck in this) wants to marry Claudio (Robert Sean Leonard) while her barbed tongued cousin Beatrice (Emma Thompson) despises Claudio's best friend Benedict (Kenneth Branagh). Hero and Claudio along with Don Pedro (Denzel Washington) decide to trick Beatrice and Benedict into falling in love, which works surprisingly easily. Then drama strikes in the form of Don Pedro's brother, Don John (Keanu Reeves, unfortunately he does suck in this) who decides to cause everyone some heartache by tricking Claudio into thinking Hero is a whore. (She isn't but her maid Margaret, Imelda Staunton, is.) There is drama, there is grief, there is a ton of great comedy. It's Shakespeare at his finest! And in the end there is song! (This video is dreadful, but it's the only one I could find. My apologies.)



For a feast befitting a royal Italian vineyard wedding, try some of these tasty dishes.

Menu

Appetizer

Antipasto Platter

Tomato, Red Onion, and Basil Bruschetta

Main Course

Sausage, Cheese, and Basil Lasagna

Vegetarian Main Course

Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables

Side/Salad

Italian Leafy Green Salad

Pugliese Bread

Dessert

Tiramisu

Wine & Romance

Wine & Romance, originally uploaded by Tony Western.

"A glass or two of wine can greatly enhance a romantic interlude. Wine relaxes and helps to stimulate our senses. Drinking wine can be an erotic experience. Let your eyes feast on the color of the liquid. Caress the glass, savor the taste on your lips. Do remember that excessive alcohol will make you too drowsy for the after-dinner romance. A moderate amount of wine has been said to "arouse" but much more than that amount will have the reverse affect. "

- from Gourmet Sleuth

Ahh, wine! Is anything more enjoyable, or sexier than a glass of wine on a hot summer night? Wine is an incredibly sensual drink. Historically it has been used as an aphrodisiac, and is in fact, still widely used as such all over the planet.

When choosing a romantic wine, you should stay with a dessert wine. Sweet, sticky, sexy... In particular, I have read that port is considered one of the most aphrodisiac beverages around. Particularly white port. Which is interesting, because usually it is red wine that gets all the arousal credit.

In fact, last year Italian doctors completed a study that indicates women who drink 1 to 2 glasses of red wine every day enjoy a more prolific sex life than women who drink less or don't drink at all. One theory is that the antioxidants in the wine help to widen blood vessels so blood can flow more easily to key body parts. So if you and your lady are having a dry spell, maybe you should sneak a couple bottles of sweet red wine (or white port) into the house and start a new tradition of drinks before bedtime! Serve with a plate of strawberries (dipped in chocolate, maybe?) for maximum effect.

If you're looking for some tasty wine cocktails to try, it's hard to go wrong with one of these summery lovelies:

Liquid Lust
Sangria
Wine Spritzer
Bellini
Kir (add champagne instead of wine and make a Kir Royale)

Or pick something from this huge list of wine and champagne cocktails. Very useful!

A quote by Henri Frederic Amiel

Victorian romance - 5 of 5, originally uploaded by OldPixels.com.

Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
--Henri Frederic Amiel

Sexy Showers

Sharing a Shower Moment, originally uploaded by tochis.

It's Naughty Friday! And that means we get to talk about something sexy.

Now that it's getting warmer outside you can turn your attention to ways to cool off (while still keeping it pretty steamy!) inside. One of my (and my husband's) favorites is to share a shower together. It's wet, it's soapy, it's super fun! It almost always ends in a fun romp in the bedroom afterward. Sound like something you're interested in? Well, here are a few tips to make it more enjoyable:

Get a movable shower-head! My husband I use something like this found at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. If that's a little pricey for you, go to your local hardware store and see what they have available. You can get one for as low as $15 if you know where to look.

Buy some scented candles. Vanilla is a really popular choice, and is supposedly an aphrodisiac. Other popular scents that arouse women (according to AskMen) are Patchouli, Musk, Peppermint, Ylang Ylang, and Jasmine. Contrariwise, popular scents that arouse men include Vanilla, Cinnamon, Lavender, Jasmine, and Sandalwood.

Splurge on some really decadent shower gels, shampoos, and conditioners. Also make sure to get some nice sponges and loofahs. My preferences are Paul Mitchell Shampoo, Burt's Bees Pomegranate and Soy Conditioner (it smells AMAZING), and I usually get body wash from St. Ives because it's in the grocery store, but I really love to get stuff from The Body Shoppe too. What I love most about these products is that they are not tested on animals. Also, they tend to smell absolutely amazing.

It's also a really good idea to get some very soft, fluffy towels so you can dry each other off afterward.

Make sure to have some soft and sexy music ready to go at a moment's notice. Put together a play list of songs that mean something to both of you.

And remember to keep everything ready and at hand so you don't have to run around searching for stuff. That is a definite mood killer.

Mamma Mia!

Because my wonderful husband is taking me to see Mamma Mia! at our local theatre this Friday, I thought now would be a fabulous time to review it for Dinner & a Movie.

The basic premise of the film is that 20 year old Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is going to marry her lover, Sky (Dominic Cooper), but for her wedding she really wants her dad to be there to give her away at the ceremony. However, she doesn't know who her father is, so she reads her mom Donna's (Meryl Streep) old diary and comes up with 3 possibilities: Sam (Pierce Brosnan), Bill (Stellan Skarsgård), and Harry (Colin Firth). So she invites all three. And of course, she doesn't tell her mother what she's done, so when they all 3 show up for the wedding, Donna is surprised, to say the least. The fun and hilarity, aided and abetted by Donna's two best friends, Rosie (Julie Walters) and Tanya (Christine Baranski), reach gargantuan proportions, all beautifully enhanced with 1970's disco ABBA music. (Oh, did I forget to mention that this masterpiece is also a musical? Well, it is! Yes, that's right, you get to see JAMES BOND singing disco music!) And in the end love is found, lives are changed, and hearts are warmed.

If you're still uncertain, just check out this clip of the ending (don't worry, it doesn't give anything away!):



Now is that any kind of fun you think you can miss out on? I don't think so!

Because this movie is set in Greece (and it is so gorgeous! The scenery is amazing!), I think a Greek Feast is in order:

Retsina: a Greek white or rose wine that has been made for around 2000 years. It gets its name because it was formerly sealed with pine resin, which seeped into the flavor of the wine. Nowadays they don't have to seal with pine resin, of course, but the flavor is so popular, they continue to add the aroma to the wine.

Appetizer

Feta and Marinated Niçoise Olives with Grilled Pitas

Main Course

Greek Lamb Burgers with Spinach and Red Onion Salad

Vegetarian Main Course

Greek Salad Pita Sandwiches

Side

Roasted Potatoes with Garlic, Lemon, and Oregano

Dessert

Roasted Plums with Greek Yogurt

Picnics!

Picnic in the mist, originally uploaded by rgdaniel.

As the weather gets warmer my thoughts begin to turn longingly to the romance of spring and summer. And these days I am obsessed with picnics! They are, in my opinion, one of the most romantic dates.

In fact, one of the best dates my husband and I ever had was when I surprised him with a picnic after picking him up from work. I had assembled all the food we would need, plus some charcoal and a lighter, and we went to our local state park and sat next to the lake at sunset. It was so romantic and wonderful and I still smile when I think of it.

Here is a list of items you will need to plan your own romantic picnic. And because I love themes, these are ideas for an Italian themed picnic:

A secluded, woodsy location (but not any place that is too far away from a bathroom)
A red and white blanket or tablecloth
A wicker picnic basket
A couple ice packs to chill the wine and salads
Linen napkins (much more elegant. But keep a few paper napkins or paper towels hidden away in your basket too, in case of spills.)
Silverware (not of the plastic variety. We're trying to keep this elegant!)
Two small plates (no paper or Styrofoam.)
Two wine glasses
Tea candles, (citronella might be a good thing to have, in case of mosquitoes)
Lighter
Source of music, loaded with her favorite songs


The menu:

Your preferred Antipasto (I would suggest olives, provolone and mozzarella, and a cured meat such as prosciutto)
A good, crusty Italian bread
Pesto
Your favorite Italian wine (I'd go with a red)
Two bottles of water

Salads/Sides

Caprese Salad
Two Peas in a Pasta

Main Course

Roast Chicken with Pancetta and Olives

Vegetarian

Leak and Asparagus Frittata

Dessert

Strawberries with Marsala
Your preferred Italian cookie (Italian wedding cookies, Pizzelles, etc.)
Some big, seedless purple grapes

Schedule

No Sunday posts! And my updating schedule is going to move to Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and some love quotes or poems or letters on Saturdays. So check out Dinner & a Movie posts on Wednesday (giving you time to assemble ingredients and movies before the weekend), Naughty Fridays (where I explore various topics of a sexual nature), and then whatever I have left to post on will come up on Mondays. And if you're looking for some poetry or such, swing around for Inspirational Saturday. Hopefully this new schedule will work well.

And as always, feel free to email any questions you'd like me to answer. I always enjoy doing those!

A Quote by Dr. Seuss

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.", originally uploaded by _Paula AnDDrade.

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."
--Dr Seuss

A Novel Idea

This book would make an incredibly romantic present if your lady is having a birthday or if you feel like presenting her with a "just because" gift. Penguin Classics has come out with a whole slew of beautifully bound classic novels. Get a romantic one (anything by Jane Austen will do, or they have a stunning copy of William Shakespeare's The Sonnets and A Lover's Complaint) and write a personal note on the inside cover. Something such as lyrics from your song, or a simple "I love you."

It's very likely that she will swoon and melt and you will be winning all kinds of relationship points. I wouldn't be surprised if she bragged about you to all her girlfriends and made them jealous of her exceptionally thoughtful and considerate guy.

Red Rose

A Red Christmas Rose, originally uploaded by canmom ( very busy ).

Few things are sexier than receiving a single red rose. Pick one up for your girl and leave it somewhere to surprise her. Her pillow is a good spot. Consider putting a short love poem or quote next to it.

La Vita Nuova

In that book which is
My memory . . .
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words . . .
Here begins a new life

- Dante Alighieri