When she's sad...

Christmas is not as much about opening our presents, originally uploaded by xdesx.

Give her a present! Here are a few gift ideas for when your girlfriend has the blues:

- Flowers! Flowers, especially something cheerful like daisies, can push a bad mood out the window. Studies have shown that depression is lifted when people have fresh cut flowers in their houses.

- Cupcakes. Especially pink ones. It's hard to stay in a bad mood when you're looking a fluffy, cute cupcake. It's even harder to stay in a bad mood when you are eating said cupcake.

- Take her out to dinner to her favorite restaurant. There are very few ills in my life that can't be remedied by dinner at a Mexican restaurant and a Coke. That is something my husband learned very early on.

- Chocolate. It's not just for PMS, you know. Chocolate has properties in it that elevate mood. And I know very few girls that wouldn't like to be surprised with their favorite chocolate.

- Take her to play with puppies or kittens. Seriously, who can stay in a bad mood when they are playing with a puppy?

- Watch a romantic comedy. I am always cheered up when I watch a really great movie or TV show. Try Stardust or Music & Lyrics or go for a TV show like Gilmore Girls, Coupling, or The IT Crowd.

Some things you might NOT want to do:

- Take her bathing suit shopping.

- Make her cook dinner.

- Complain about your day.

- Criticize her at all.

- Go off and play a computer game and not pay attention to her.

Those are bad things to do when your lady is upset. Trust me.

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Grand Piano, originally uploaded by davydubbit.

How oft when thou, my music, music play'st,
Upon that blessed wood whose motion sounds
With thy sweet fingers when thou gently sway'st
The wiry concord that mine ear confounds,
Do I envy those jacks that nimble leap,
To kiss the tender inward of thy hand,
Whilst my poor lips which should that harvest reap,
At the wood's boldness by thee blushing stand.
To be so tickled they would change their state
And situation with those dancing chips,
O'er whom thy fingers walk with gentle gait,
Making dead wood more blest than living lips,
Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,
Give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss.

- William Shakespeare

A Dry Spell

The white desert - Uyuni - Bolivia, originally uploaded by gardawind.

It may interest you to know that approximately 43% of the female population experiences a lack of sex drive. The causes are vast and varied. Depression, stress, fatigue, birth control side effects, or disease are some of the more common contributing factors. So if your lady goes through periods of time where she's uninterested in a physical relationship, rest assured that the problem is probably not your fault.

However, having your erstwhile lover suddenly turn cold is extremely frustrating, I know! Unfortunately, there's not actually a pill she can take for it. And though she really should talk to a doctor about this serious problem, you also have to take an active role in helping her to get turned on again, provided she wants to get back into sex. Here are a few suggestions to getting your sex life back on track when she's fallen off:

1. Conversation! Talk to her about her sudden lack of interest and find out how she's feeling. Tell her how you're feeling as well. Often women think men just want fucking and don't actually care about the emotional aspects of sex. Tell her that if you just wanted an orgasm you could easily take care of that in the shower. Make sure she understands that the emotional part of having her there is the most important part of sex.

2. Try watching porn with her or reading dirty magazines. A woman's most potent erogenous zone is her mind. Write her a dirty story and then read it to her. It's so hot when my husband does that! Often I can't wait until he's finished to jump him.

3. Go sex toy shopping! Get a variety of fun creams and lubes and vibrators then go home and offer to try them out. This may be more for women who are only having a small dry spell. Women who are experience a more serious lack of libido will probably not be so interested in this option. You could still suggest it to her, though.

4. Tell her often how attractive you think she is and how much you care about her. Sometimes a woman loses interest in sex if she's feeling insecure. Every lady likes to hear that she's looking pretty, so remember to tell her!

5. Take her on a vacation. Sometimes she just needs to get away from the stress of every day life to loosen up and start feeling sexy again. Plan a romantic weekend away in a comfortable Inn. If you pick the right place she may not even want to leave the room, which is ideal.

Sometimes a woman is experiencing a more serious problem. If she's been uninterested in sex for a prolonged period of time, she definitely needs to see her doctor. If she has a history of relationship abuse, you both may need to see a couples therapist. Bad or abusive relationships that happened long ago can have a lasting impact and those are things that need to be worked on with a trained professional. Don't be afraid to ask her to get some help (though you should do it in a tactful way) if you're afraid the problem may be more than you can handle. And always let her know that you'll be by her side for whatever she needs, whether that's going to therapy with her or taking a hiatus from a physical relationship.

Pretty Woman

A movie about a prostitute and a rich executive, what could possibly be better? Julia Roberts plays Vivian Ward, a whore in Las Angeles. Richard Gere plays Edward Lewis, a rich businessman who's used to buying and selling anything and anyone he wants. Edward decides to buy Vivian for a night, however, he takes a liking to her and then decides to keep her for a week. It's terribly romantic and very Cinderella. Your typical chick flick, really, so how can you go wrong?

For this movie you need something classy. So try something like this:

Menu

Appetizer

Traditional Southern Deviled Eggs

Main Course

Coq au Vin

Vegetarian Main Course

Vegetarian Cassoulet

Sides

Mashed Potatoes
French Green Beans with Garlic and Sliced Almonds

Dessert

Julia Child's Perfect Chocolate Mousse

Flowers

This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrow's happiness grow~, originally uploaded by Tja'Sha ♥.

Flowers, a classic romantic gift, often paired with chocolate and given at the beginning of a first date or for very special occasions, such as Valentine's Day or an anniversary. However flowers aren't just for special occasions, they're for any and all times. Is your lady feeling a little sad? Surprise her with a bouquet of daisies to make her smile. It's a well known fact that having fresh cut flowers around will create a more cheerful environment. And when she's happy, you're happy!

Here are a few bouquet suggestions that any girl would adore:

Daisies - The daisy stands for loyal love. They're a very cheerful flower and will definitely help to brighten up any dark mood. This is an especially nice flower to give her when she's all PMS.

Hydrangeas - The hydrangea stands for friendship, devotion, and understanding. They're an incredibly elegant, fragrant flower. Extremely romantic.

Lilies - Similar to the rose, there are so many different types of lilies, they all have different meanings. The white lily represents chastity and virtue. The lilies of the valley represent humility and devotion. If you've had a fight and you want to make up maybe you should send her a bouquet of lilies of the valley with a nice I'm Sorry attached.

Roses - The rose is a classic. It's hard to go wrong with a bouquet of roses. Of course everyone knows the red rose represents passion, however there are a ton of other colors and here is a guide to help you choose which color is appropriate.

If none of these options strike your fancy, sit down and have a nice chat with her about flowers. Ask her which ones she likes, which ones she hates, what she likes about the ones she fancies and the reason she hates the ones she doesn't like. Haha, that was a fun sentence. Anyway, getting her input ahead of time will make flower buying a much easier experience. You can just go to a florist and say "My girl likes..." and let them put something together. No problem!

My Dearest Friend

♪♫ Love letters straight from your heart ♪♫, originally uploaded by cattycamehome.

"My Dearest Friend,

…should I draw you the picture of my Heart, it would be what I hope you still would Love; tho it contained nothing new; the early possession you obtained there; and the absolute power you have ever maintained over it; leaves not the smallest space unoccupied. I look back to the early days of our acquaintance; and Friendship, as to the days of Love and Innocence; and with an indescribable pleasure I have seen near a score of years roll over our Heads, with an affection heightened and improved by time -- nor have the dreary years of absence in the smallest degree effaced from my mind the Image of the dear untitled man to whom I gave my Heart..."

-excert of a love letter from Abigail Adams to her husband President John Adams

Cunnilingus

45/365 Sexy Lips, originally uploaded by mriehle1.

Oral sex - some women can't get enough and some women want you to keep your mouth out of there, thank you very much. No matter what her feelings on the matter are, you should always keep the option on the table for her.

Here are a few tips to make oral sex with your lady more enjoyable for her:

1. Wash your hands and trim your fingernails. It's incredibly unpleasant to get a UTI from bacteria you may have on your hands. It is also incredibly unpleasant to get nicked down there by a jagged fingernail.

2. Cover the bed (or where ever you're doing this) with a lot of towels. Cunnilingus gets very messy and if she is like me, instead of enjoying the moment she's constantly worried she's going to end up sleeping in a wet spot that night.

3. Shower with her both before and after. I say do it before because it can relieve any paranoia she may have about not being clean enough. And I say after because she's probably going to need to clean off afterward, so it'd be nice if you kept her company. Cunnilingus is messy!

4. Be vocal in your appreciation for her. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you're enjoying yourself. Women love to hear that. And it's very reassuring because oral sex for a woman can be a very self-conscious activity.

5. Don't be afraid to ask her what she likes and doesn't like. If she doesn't like something you're doing don't freak out and start apologizing profusely, just move on to the next move. If you act horrified at doing something she doesn't particularly enjoy, she may be disinclined to tell you what she does and doesn't like, which could end up making the whole experience unpleasant for her.

And if you'd like more input, I highly recommend reading this page. It has a lot of useful tips and hints. However it is most definitely NSFW.

Stardust

Adapted from Neil Gaiman's novel of the same name, Stardust is about a young man named Tristan (Charlie Cox) who, in an effort to woo a pretty local girl (Sienna Miller) and prove his love, agrees to quest to bring her back a fallen star. Much to his surprise, when he travels past the mysterious wall at the edge of his village, everything is different. He discovers that the fallen star is actually a beautiful woman named Yvaine (Claire Danes) who was unhappily snagged out of the sky by a necklace, which she is now wearing. The story for this film is completely complicated and I will only confuse you and myself if I even attempt to tell you more. Suffice it to say there is a witch (Michelle Pfeiffer), a homosexual, cross-dressing lightning pirate (Robert De Niro), and a naughty merchant (Ricky Gervais). And in the end there is much happiness! I love this movie and it's one of the few that both my husband and I think is really great. So if the cross-dressing De Niro doesn't make you want to watch it, maybe the fact that it's not just a chick flick will. Go get it and watch!!

A menu for this particular movie was somewhat perplexing. It has a British feel. It has a Renaissance Festival feel. And Neil Gaiman wrote it so I took some inspiration from his interview with Food Porn. So, with all those inspirations, I give you:

Menu

Appetizer

Endive, Stilton, and Pear Tart

Main Course

Newspaper Trout

Vegetarian Main Course

Asparagus Omelet

Side

Roasted New Potato Salad
Creamy Sesame Greens

Dessert

Star Fruit in Mango-Orange Sauce

Romantic Walks

Romance no Inverno, originally uploaded by Moema Quintas.

"The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk."

-Mark Twain

Many great and influential figures in history espoused in length on the benefits of walking. It's exercise for your soul. And what's good for the soul is good for the love life.

Try a romantic stroll through a downtown city street while eating ice cream cones and window shopping. There's always a lot to see and talk about in a city, from the flowers in window boxes to the colorful everyday people wandering around. If you have a dog, take it with you. Dogs love a good walk and they make people happy. You're very likely to make lots of new friends if you have a dog. Which may or may not be a goal to have during a romantic stroll. :)

If the city isn't your thing, try a nice walk next to a body of water. Water is very soothing. And a great benefit is that if it's warm enough and secluded enough you could suggest an impromptu skinny dip. She may just laugh at you, but you could still suggest it.

Or you could try a hike up a mountain to get some nice photography and killer views. Take a picnic with you to really enjoy the day.

No matter where you end up going, a walk, whether it be a quick jaunt around the block or a longer, all day hike, is a nice way to spend some time with your sweetheart. It gets your blood moving and makes you see the world through much more zen eyes. So get out there and get moving and let the conversation flow. And remember, hand holding is a really nice touch.

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Romantic Red Rose, originally uploaded by Waseem-79.

So are you to my thoughts as food to life,
Or as sweet-seasoned showers are to the ground;
And for the peace of you I hold such strife
As 'twixt a miser and his wealth is found.
Now proud as an enjoyer, and anon
Doubting the filching age will steal his treasure,
Now counting best to be with you alone,
Then bettered that the world may see my pleasure,
Sometime all full with feasting on your sight,
And by and by clean starved for a look,
Possessing or pursuing no delight
Save what is had, or must from you be took.
Thus do I pine and surfeit day by day,
Or gluttoning on all, or all away.

-William Shakespeare

Massage

Tibetan massage is taught at Dharamsala, India., originally uploaded by Eric Lon.

Sensual massage can bring a whole new level of intimacy to your relationship. Women love to be touched. I especially love it when my husband lightly runs his nails over my back. So wonderful!

If you're interested in giving your lovely a sexy massage and have no idea where to start, try checking out some of these NSFW websites:

Yoni Massage

Female Massage

Sensual Massage Techniques

A few suggestions from me:

1. Use either great smelling lotion or massage oil. I much prefer lotion because it's less mess and it makes me feel far less greasy than oil. And I get the benefit of having very soft skin afterward. If you use lotion, try heating it up between your hands for a bit before rubbing it into her skin. My husband does this and it makes the whole experience much more pleasant. Cold lotion can really startle you out of a relaxed state, which is not ideal for a massage.

2. Put down plenty of towels beforehand. It would really be a bother if your partner is worried about you getting oil stains on her 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets the whole time you're rubbing her down. Not ideal.

3. Don't get stuck on her boobs, butt, or pelvis. Roam around a little more. There are a lot more places to touch than just those areas. The back tends to be really nice, but also go for the back of the thighs or lightly rub the back of her calves and knees. That feels wonderful.

4. Don't expect to have sex afterward. You might get some sex, but expecting/feeling you're entitled to it, is a turn off. Don't put your fingers in her vagina without her permission to do so before hand. It's annoying and unpleasant to have unexpected penetration. Often when a woman is being massaged it makes her sleepy. So don't be hurt or surprised if she just wants to go to sleep at the end.

Massage can be a great way to open up conversation about what feels good and what doesn't. Don't be afraid to ask her what she likes. That conversation will make a huge difference in your sex life.

Penelope

Penelope is a beautiful, romantic fairy tale starring Christina Ricci as Penelope, a girl born with a pig nose. Of course there is the whole fairy tale mumbo jumbo of her being turned normal looking if she finds her real love. And of course that sets her crazy mother (Catherine O'Hara) off on a quest to find her a suitor while keeping Penelope locked up at home, so no one will find out about her appearance. Penelope gets tired of being locked in a gilded cage while her mom plays matchmaker, so she takes off on her own to see the world. In the end there is much happiness and everything is resolved beautifully. James McAvoy does a great job as Penelope's love interest, even if he does look a bit greasy. It's a really great movie for adults or children, if you happen to have kids around. It's romantic, but no nudity or anything like that.

For a movie like this, you need a really over the top, spectacular, and beautiful menu. The colors are so vibrant and the sets are so gorgeous that your food has to keep up. So for this movie I recommend you try some of these recipes:

Menu

Appetizer

Radishes with Creamy Anchovy Butter

Main Course

Grilled Pork Loin with Fire Roasted Pineapple Salsa

Vegetarian Main Course

Spaghetti with Smoky Tomatoes and Onions

Sides

Grilled Zucchini Pepper Salad
Corn and Tomato Scramble

Dessert

Cupcakes
More Cupcakes
And Some More Cupcakes

Girls Want Confidence

Confidence is sexy Right, originally uploaded by busyPrinting.

Girls want a bloke who is confident. There's no other way to say it. A man who knows who he is and what he wants is more attractive than a box of Ghirardelli chocolates. Ha ha, OK, maybe he's more like at least as good. But the point is, be confident! But not too confident... Don't be a jerk about it. Nobody likes a know-it-all or a pompous ass.

I hear some of my guy friends whining all the time "Girls just date jerks!" Blah, blah, blah! Why do you think that is? Jerks are confident. Girls don't want to date jerks, they want to date confident men! So if you are confident AND not a jerk, that automatically makes you a better pick.

And did you ever notice that when you are dating someone, it seems like all these other girls suddenly start to notice you exist? It's no coincidence when that happens. It's because you are happy in a relationship, AND because you have gained some confidence. You have a girlfriend so you know that you are capable of getting a girlfriend and thus girls aren't so scary anymore. You are confident in your romantic abilities.

Ways girls can tell if you have confidence:

-How you dress. If you are clean and you dress well it shows that you care about your appearance and that you respect yourself enough to make sure you look nice. It's a great way to tell if a guy is confident.

-Where you live. If you're still living with your parents it's a really good sign that you lack the confidence to go out and make it on your own. Note, if you're still living at home to take care of a sick parent, the rules are different. That actually shows a lot of confidence in your ability to care for and provide for your family. It also shows that you respect your family.

-You job. If you're still working at your high school job and you're 28, it definitely looks like you don't have the confidence to move on and make a better life for yourself. And if you are too insecure to make your own life better, why would a woman want to associate her own life with you?

-Your friends. The people you surround yourself with speaks volumes. Are you a loner? It may look like you're too scared to put yourself out there to make friends. Got a bunch of frat boys following you around? Could look like you use them as a security blanket in social situations.

-How you act around your family. If you let them walk all over you and push you around, it definitely shows insecurity in your ability to live your own life.

-Your ability to make decisions. Girls want a guy who is confident in his opinions. If you never make decisions or have an opinion on anything, it looks like you think your views on the subject don't matter. Major confidence points lost.

-Your topic of conversation. If you tend to focus on the negative in your speech, then that shows a lack of confidence in yourself and in general. Positive people tend to be more secure.

Sit back and really pay attention to yourself and your habits. Don't sugar coat anything. Be honest with yourself about the ways you lack confidence. Also pay attention to the areas you feel confident. It's important to know your strengths and weaknesses in order to change. If you want to be more confident, then you have to take your weak areas and make them stronger. Start dressing better, apply for a new job, look for an apartment, etc. It's not impossible to gain confidence. Everyone stumbles every now and again and feels like the world is too much to handle. But you have to shake that off and get back in the saddle. Gaining confidence is a process, but a worthy one. Girls will notice a confident man.

A Love Letter

A Love Letter, originally uploaded by Amber... Bamberboo.

"Dear Robert Browning,

…Do you know, when you have told me to think of you, I have been feeling ashamed of thinking of you so much, of thinking of only you--which is too much, perhaps. Shall I tell you? It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me--the fullness must be in proportion, you know, to the vacancy...and only I know what was behind--the long wilderness without the blossoming rose...and the capacity for happiness, like a black gaping hole, before this silver flooding. Is it wonderful that I should stand as in a dream, and disbelieve--not you--but my own fate?

Was ever any one taken suddenly from a lampless dungeon and placed upon the pinnacle of a mountain, without the head turning round and the heart turning faint, as mine do? And you love me more, you say? Shall I thank you or God? Both, indeed, and there is no possible return from me to either of you! I thank you as the unworthy may…and as we all thank God. How shall I ever prove what my heart is to you? How will you ever see it as I feel it?…"

-excerpt of a love letter from Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Sexy Activity Guidelines

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Music & Lyrics

Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant star in this romantic comedy about washed up '80's pop star Alex Fletcher (Grant) and flaky English major Sophie Fisher (Barrymore). Together they team up to write a hit song in the hopes of resurrecting Alex's career. Of course along the way there is love, drama, that woman from 3rd Rock from the Sun, and some pretty fun music. Check out this video of one of the songs (yes, that is Hugh Grant in full '80's regalia!):



Coming up with a menu to compliment this movie was difficult. I delved into 1980's food and recipes to gain inspiration. And here are my suggestions:

Menu

Appetizer

Brie with Almonds

Main Course

Chicken Francese

Vegetarian Main Course

Panzanella

Side

Mom's Potato Puffs
Squash Kebabs

Dessert

Dirt Cake

Love Notes

I Love You! Inspirational Quotes Qiqi Emma January 18, 201014, originally uploaded by stevendepolo.

Love letters are one of the things that most girls really, really want you to give her. Whether it's a short "I love you" jotted on the dry erase board on your refrigerator or a longer, more in-depth soul searching letter from the heart, women like to read words written by you, telling her how you feel.

Who knows why? Maybe it goes back to the fact that women are more textually based than men. But take it from me, there is nothing comparable to reading a well written, passionate letter from your mate telling you how he loves and cherishes you. When my husband wrote to me, I would turn pink and get chills. I still do that, actually.

So if you want to turn your girl on and make her crazy happy, write her a letter telling her how you feel about her. (Remember to spell check and use proper grammar. Trust me, literacy is sexy.)

A Quote by Shannon Crown

Romance Chocolates, originally uploaded by cluttershop.

The best thing about me is you.
--Shannon Crown